Adorable

Contrary to to title, I am going to begin this post with talking about my adventure today. Chapters! Here are all the books I bought (it won't let me put them side by side). I'm so excited! Even though I am not very happy with myself, because I know I will never have time to read them because I'm failing at being a nerd right now :(

Ok so back to the title. This year, I have taken up teaching piano, correct? Well, I love it. To the point where when I am having the worst day imaginable, spending an hour with my students picks me right up. I even forget I am getting paid to do it. I have no doubt in my mind that I would love to do this for the rest of my life. That in itself is causing a problem. My parents want me to go into medicine, not music. And I'm scared to death that I will get through 8 years of med school just to realize I like teaching piano more.

Oh and something else has come up....

I want to be a mother.

In the kind of way that if it was socially acceptable to get preggo and drop out of highschool, I would. I don't know what it is, but it's just somthing I think about alot. I would love to have a child of my own. I want to start a family. Even though I'm only 15.... Think about it. If I lived 200 years ago, that would be perfectly normal. So why is it so frowned upon today?

Now, don't worry, I'm not dropping out of school. I just don't know if I could postpone that through 8 years of university, plus another couple years to settle down.

My mom says there are alot of things you can only do when your single. But I don't care for travelling and it's not like I will suddenly be an old lady once I settle down.

I still think about that girl, I posted about a while ago. In the more run down area of town. Who, while I was selling chocolate bars door to door, came up and hugged me, and wouldn't let go. I should go find out who she is, and spend time with her. I know she was left alone with the neighborhood kids while her parents weren't home... it just breaks my heart. And to think of innocent children like that getting throw so hard into the real world...

Anyway that was my random ramble for the day. I'm exhausted from the day (oh btw, the gums where my wisdom teeth were removed are infected. Yay, more pills -_-)

TTFN