Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Plaid-ing it up!

I am so disoriented.... because I just woke up!

Majorly screwing with my sleep patterns here.... It's not my fault!!! My body has gone into "OMG I THINK YOU NEED TO GET A MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE SO I AM GOING TO STRESS YOU OUT LIKE IT'S EXAM WEEK OR SOMETHING"


But here is the interesting part of this.

So, dreams are like the coolest thing ever right? As soon as I started taking Melatonin, my dreams got strangely vivid and remember able. I have learned one sad fact about myself though. Usually, my dreams are about school.

So pathetic.

But this is majorly screwing with my mind. Usually, when I sleep at night I dream about the next day. So then the entire day I have deja vu. Or I think I did things I didn't and so on and so forth. Pain in the ass.

But this afternoon I took two T3's (I was in pain. Damn wisdom teeth. Or lack thereof. Yay for going to the surgeon again for a checkup) which thankfully knocked me out for a couple hours, and I dreamed about the school day I just had.

It's all so confusing for my poor little developing brain.

That was not the point of the post. God I get distracted easily.

I cut my hair. So now I look like this....

Instead of this:

Trying to go a little more butch? Yeah, a bit. So I took my gay boyfriend to Walmart with me and bombarded the mens section. Because according to him girl's plaid just won't get my point across. The problem being I am a five foot one relative small built female. I guess I should learn to sew.

Anyway I need some of your guys' advice. A while ago, when I came out to my family (as bisexual), my sister (junior high) asked "Does that mean you like boys?" I nodded (I don't really, but it was all part of my act to bring the idea in slowly....) and added "and girls." Maybe she has forgotten, or just decided that was an unimportant event. But she has been pestering me with questions like "Why are you trying to look like a boy? What's with the mens shirts?"

No big deal. Those I can answer. But when she said

"Why don't you have a boyfriend? You're pretty enough for it"

That broke my heart. Maybe it's me not wanting to ruin her innocence. Or the fact that she looks up to me and I don't want that to change. Not that I would blame her, we grew up in a house that shunned the idea of gays.

Just something that's been on my mind.

Anyway that was it for now. I have a couple of drafts of post from when Blogger hated me, which probably contributed to the months and months I did not post.... So I might post those soon. But I shall leave the blogging world alone while I work on all this stuff that my body has decided is stressful enough to not sleep over. Geez. I swear I could divide everything into two: The things my mind does and the things my body does to screw with my mind. I was suppose to be signing off! I guess I need some more Blogging practice :) See ya!

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