Friday, December 24, 2010

A Christmas Carol Remade!

Ok so I am extremely sorry to all my viewers. I haven't posted in like, forever! But I have a pretty good excuse. I was in Mexico!!! No joke! And it would have cost me $5 an hour to us the internet.... Yeah sorry guys but it wasn't worth it. Yesterday was so weird, ya know being the night before the night before and everything. Not being home has messed up my Christmas cheeriness like big time. So there are a lack of From Jen christmas presents under the tree this year. But I am making up for it by playing lots of carols on the piano. AND I wrote Merry Christmas in the snow this morning in HUGE letters and it took a super long time. So yeah, feeling a little useless right now. Ok I have so many great things to blog about that I might just make another post explaining them. Since you have read this far, you are probably wanting some  interest piece of writing to finish it off. But I can't cause my brain is mush from the drastic change in temperature between Mexico and Canada!! I am glad to be home for christmas though because it would be weird to not have snow. Although it has happened! Speaking of past christmas's, I should mention that A Christmas Carol is one of my favourite christmas movies. I played Scrooge's sister Fan in a local production a few years ago. In honour of that, I am going to describe mine version as if I was scrooge.

Me: What Fred? Can't you see I'm trying to sleep!!! Wait.... FRED?!?!?! You died last year! What are you doing in my bedroom?
Fred: I've come to warn you!
Me: Warn me of what? You're not even real! Let me sleep -_-
Fred: See these chains? I am condemned to a life of imprisonment to those we made jokes about! I have come to tell you it's not worth the laughs!!
Me: I'm not listening I'm not listening!!! You're not here. A figure of my imagination! Perhaps an unsettled chunk of potato in my stomach....
Fred: I have proof!! Remember our deal friend Annaconda? And Rosy-anne? How about Mary Margaret? They are all going to show you. The first will come when the bell tolls one. The second when the bell tolls two. The third, when the bell tolls threeeeeee
And with that, he left the room
Me: Ba Humbug! This must all be a horrid joke! Let me sleep!

Annaconda: JENNY!!! WAKE UP
Me: What now? Am I dreaming?
Annaconda: I am the ghost of Christmas past. You must come with me! It is very urgent!
Me: Where? I'm still in my pyjamas!!!
Annaconda: You will see....
Me: Where are we? Who are they? Can they see me?
Annaconda: We are at elementary school, 4 years ago. They can't see us.
Me: Is that me? LOOK AT MY HAIR =0
Annaconda: Stop being so self centred and watch!
Group of young girls whispering: Katerina poop-stain goin down the drain!
Single girl begins to cry: Go away!
Me: I never said that! It wasn't me
Annaconda: Yeah but you knew. And you didn't do anything about it.
Me: Wow, that must have all have been a bad dream. Now if only I could go back to sleee
Mary Margaret: Hurry, we must leave
Me: Again? Why?
Mary Margaret: I am the ghost of christmas present! You must see something
Young peer is speaking with the present form of Jennifer....
"Is there any teacher you actually like?"
"Ya.... I like Ms. Steinbach...... and sometimes Ms. Hagan... and, and, and"
(With heavy sarcasm) "wow, you actually like a teacher for once! Lets hold a party!"
"Don't be rude. I just have my preferences.... "
Rosy-anne: You can wake up any time now Jen....
Me: Another one? Great, just what I wanted on Christmas Eve.
Rosy-anne: Well you should have expected it! With every past and present must be a future!
Me: Oh great, here we go again.
An old women is knocking on the door of a bedroom, calling my name
"Jennifer! JENNIFER! You must come out, it is time for church!"
Older Jen: I'm not coming out! Haven't you realized the whole world hates me? I don't have a single friend on earth!
"You have me..."
Older Jen: That's because I pay you! Your just an old maid!
The maid goes off crying, while Jen herself is crying in her own locked room.
Me: Wow, am I really going to turn out like that?
Rosy-anne: If you don't change your habits, then you will!
Me: OMG I have to do something quick!
The next day
Me: There, my Facebook status know says "I'm sorry if I have ever hurt your feelings and I promise not to ever do it again. I send my love out to all of you. Have a very Merry Christmas and the Happiest New Year!!" THE END!


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