Saturday, May 7, 2011

Kill Bill? Really? Day 38

Yes, I know I spelled Kan wrong. But I need to follow through with this A-Z challenge!

So I was just sittin' here minding my own buisness when my parents called me to the living room. I was just aimlessly trying to write a blog post....

So I walk into the living room and they are watching Kill Bill. Now, I haven't seen it, so I trusted Wikipedia to inform you....

Volume 1
A pregnant bride (Uma Thurman) lies beaten at her wedding, telling an unseen Bill (David Carradine) that it is his baby, before he shoots her in the head. Sometime later, The Bride finds Vernita Green (Vivica A. Fox) at her home and fights her, but they cease after Vernita's daughter Nikki arrives from school. It is revealed that both women were former members of the Deadly Vipers Assassination Squad; elite assassins under the employ of Bill. The squad was ordered by Bill to attack The Bride's wedding in El Paso, Texas. Vernita attempts to kill her with a hidden gun, but dies after being stabbed. The Bride offers Nikki revenge should she seek it as an adult before leaving. She then strikes Vernita's name off a checklist, the second after one "O-Ren Ishii" has already been struck off.
It is revealed that after the wedding attack, The Bride miraculously survived the head shot but was left comatose. In hospital, another member of the Deadly Vipers, the one-eyed Elle Driver (Daryl Hannah), enters The Bride's room and prepares a lethal injection but is interrupted by Bill on the phone, who states they will take action only if she wakes. Four years later, The Bride awakens and is horrified to discover that she is no longer pregnant, leading her to assume that her baby is dead. She escapes, swearing revenge, and picks her first target: O-Ren Ishii (Lucy Liu), an orphan whose parents were killed by gangsters and who eventually took revenge, becoming an assassin. After the attack on the wedding, she has since become the leader of the Tokyo underworld.
The Bride travels to Okinawa to obtain a sword from retired legendary swordsmith Hattori Hanz┼Ź (Sonny Chiba), who has become a sushi chef and sworn never to forge again. After learning that her target is his former student, Bill, he agrees to forge his finest sword for her. The Bride then confronts O-Ren at a night club. She severs the arm of Sofie Fatale (Julie Dreyfus), an informant of Bill. She then bloodily fights off all of O-Ren’s henchmen, including the Crazy 88 and her personal bodyguard, 17-year-old sadist Gogo Yubari (Chiaki Kuriyama). The Bride then duels O-Ren, and kills her. Extracting the whereabouts of the other assassins from Sofie by cutting off her other arm, she leaves her at a hospital. Bill visits Sofie, who informs him that The Bride now knows the names and locations of the Deadly Vipers and is out for revenge. Bill then asks if The Bride is aware that her daughter is still alive.

So... Yeah. ???? Right? My parents, the ones who talk about tectonic plates as a dinner conversation watching this movie. Multiple times. Jaw on the floor.

So back to the story. So they called me into the living room while watching this movie.

Me: Yes?
Parents: Watch this scene.
Me: I really don't care.
Parents: Just watch it. It explains how this woman got so powerful.
Me: *rolling eyes* Fine.
Movie: (a whole bunch of people speaking in Japanese)
Me: I'm leaving.
Mom: No just watch, like two more seconds!
Me: (two seconds has gone by)

Me: (four seconds...)

Me: (20 seconds)

Moive: Girl gets up on table and chops man's head off, then flings her sword and sprays people in the face with blood. Says "I'm going to say this in English" and then goes on to talk about how if someone has a problem feel free to mention it.
Me: I'm leaving.... this is stupid. I really don't care.
Mom: Fine....

Later.....

Dad: The scene got funnier btw.
Me: I really don't care
Dad: (to my mom) Maybe when she's older.



MIND BLOWN!!!!
Things my parents watch....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your parents need more pride in you. LOL

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