Smile...

.... Smile Jen, it's a new day.

It has been Tuesday for exactly 42 minutes. June 5th. 2012.

Why do days start at midnight? Nobody is awake then. Shouldn't the day start at 6:00AM?

Well, I suppose I am awake now.

I don't want to start my day.

Last time I was blogging at this time, I didn't want to go to sleep because I was happy.

I'm just worn out now. Tired of being tired. How do I fix that? I felt fantastic this morning.

I hate these dramatic swings.

Anyway, I took some "multiple intelligences" quiz for school. It told me I was strong in musical intelligence. No shit Sherlock. But my second level was intrapersonal.

Meaning I understand myself. Which is absolute bullshit. I have no idea who I am anymore. It's actually one of the topics I want to bring up with my psychologist. I love it in social class when we do opinions, because it is something I can be sure about. It has nothing to do with who I am. Just what I think.

I like to think. But not about me. Or my future.

I should sign off. This is getting more and more mentally derived.

Don't worry, I will come back on my next ungodly hour upstairs adventure.

Poem!!!!

Ok. No more A-Z blogging challenge. I apologize =(

Anyway on a happier note I wrote a poem for English and.....

GOT A FRICKEN HUNDRED PERCENT!!! and some pretty damn nice comments to go with it! Let me know what you think!

(the poem with no title and screwed up font)

I’m supposed to let you drive

let you have control

of my life.

I’m not supposed to hurt.

If you take my hand

I could live like

you want me to.

I’m not supposed to

have scars.

You could open my eyes

to everything

around me.

But

what if I let go?

and lose control

what if you’re not there

to catch me?

Will I fall…

                                                             fall…

                                                            
                                                                                                      fall…

                                                                                                                                              f

                                                                                                                                                                   a

                                                                                                                                                                                       l

                                                                                                                                                                                                            l

I’m not supposed to have scars.

  

I'm so bored. I'm the Chairman of the Bored!

        Hey guys it's me... well duh. I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while, but I've been busy. I am in math right now, but I don't know if I'm suppose to be on the computer's or not.... plus the keyboard typing makes alot fo noise in a quiet room. Should I be paying attention? I don't really know.... I just keep flicking back and forth. Ok, so in math we are learning about powers. I'm so bored because I learned about these already? Where? Well, in elemetary school I loved math so much my dad bought be a math textbook to do during the summer of Grade 5. And this was the first charpter. Now, four years later the school has finally found the time to teach us about it. So, that's why I'm always blogging in math class! If I'm not doing that, I"m usually doing my Harmony RCM course... which I read is equivilent to a Grade 11 math class. Hehe. . I wish this class would talk more, so the evidence of me typing would be less noticable. Oh, let me describe this room. It's a pretty big.... not like university classes or anything but it holds like 30 kids. The desks are all huge, and the computers are inside the desk, like where your knees go. You have to look through this scatched up piece of glass to see the computer. Now, you would think that would make it less noticable that you were on the computer, but when you see someone looking intensely at a desk.... Anyway, this semester is so boring for me, because I have no courses I have to work at! Except for LA, when we do stuff like research essays, but that's just expected. Then I have math, and gym, and gym option (6 out of 20 periods a week are gym!!) Film and Video, and Drama. Now, I really don't like drama. Everyone expects me too, because I'm a loud person and did alot of on stage stuff when I was little, but I don't really enjoy myself in the class. We just recently had to look up love poems that we are suppose to speak in front of the class, and I love speaking poems but with 30 other kids in the class that have probably never done it before and chose drama as their last option (aka me) it will be very boring. Wait, back to math... damn. Ok done. Wasn't that fast? Lol. So back to my topic. School drive me insane. I wish the school would just realize that I am willing to take a killer hard course just for something to do. Well, I guess that's kind of what harmony is, but I want all my courses to be like that! Maybe I should be like Sheldon... quote "It took you four years to complete highschool?!?!" Hehe I'm positive I could do it in three.... That would be an advantage of being homeschooled. But, like my mom said, "then you miss the social aspect of being a kid" Which is true. I would have never met all my friends if I did stick with it through school. Plus, when school is easy for me, then I can do other stuff like be secretary on the Fine Arts Board and spend my spare time on posters and stuff like that. Plus, when we have a project, I can be really elaborate and get a really good mark. Ok, I better go, my math teacher just told me my work was only worth 50% because I didn't show my work. Dammit! I wanted to just slide under the bar.... welcome, series of torturing math classes... Well at least I have my blogging family to keep me company. And harmony =S... Better go. Adiós mis amigos fieles... haha that was straight from google translator.... (Goodbye my faithful friends!)

Pathetically...

I feel super pathetic.... need I explain? I know you already think such facts of me, but I have a reasonable explanation this time. So, today I had no school because it was semester break. Good for me, right? Anyway, we were suppose to have a basketball tournament but it got cancelled, for some unknown reason. Sadly, it was the principle of the middle school that called, so therefore, in my opinion, we have been demoted to a middle school team. We only have 3 grade 8's, I swear! The majority are still grade 9's..... anyway not the point. So, I really should have been doing something... well good with my time. No, of course not. Before I start though, I really must make a point of how much I hate reliance on technology. First of all, my friend called and the first thing she said was "did you get my message?" No, I didn't, because my phone was dead and when I plugged it in to it's charger, I didn't realize that the charger wasn't plugged into the wall. A little bit of a blonde move, if I do say so myself. Next, my mom and I were anxiously waiting for a phone call from my grandparents who were in Edmonton due to my grandmother deteriorating health and she was getting some tests leading to possible surgery.... and finally my grandfather phones and what does he say? "She sent Jen a text message saying you could call her at the hotel...." Well, sweatpants don't have pockets. And that was what I happened to put on today. Oh no, this isn't the first time this has happened. My mother's friend was in the ER, and after she called and asked for my mom, I decided to check my phone which had a "please tell you mom to check her email" then "it's really important" then on facebook message "I need to get a hold of you mom". A message to me when my mother has a perfectly good facebook account. Because I apparently check mine more. URGH!!! I'm so frustrated with all these "older generations" thinking us teens are connected and up-to-date and online every single fricken second!!! I get so frustrated, just because some days, I want to curl up and disconnect from the world in the comfort of my house.  But no, when that happens, the world collapses. I am "unreachable" and "missing". Congrats to the people smart enough to work a telephone or a doorbell. Do some people even realize that sometimes a warm hug or a pleasant surprise are more welcomed than a "heartfelt text message" or a facebook poke? I am tired of living in this day and age. Sure, I like to text my friends but half the time it's because we are making arrangements to find each other or they live far far away. Now, this post was originally suppose to be about how I sat down at the couch with a big bang theory disc (the show, not an educational lecture) at like.... 1:00 and I just pried my eyes off of it now (FYI, 8:00) Even during supper, my family joined me at the couch. Now I feel really pathetic for my wasted hours glued to the boob tube. (I think that's right, or else it would be really disgusting imagery if it wasn't. I think I'm going to play it safe and call it the blue tube.... =P) Ok, I am sincerely sorry for those of you that think I made a blog just to rant, because I truly didn't. I just needed to clear up some space in my head. Adios my amigos (I wanted to look up what my was in Spanish, but it turned out it was just my, so technically my Spanish still hasn't improved...)

Oh yeah and btw there is such a button. Not this exactly, but with privacy settings. Here you go, this is the message I got... FACEBOOK FYI: ALERT*As of YESTERDAY! NEW PRIVACY setting called "Instant Personalization" that shares data with non-Facebook websites and it is automatically set to "Enable." Go to Account>Privacy Settings>Applications and Websites>Instant Personalization>at bottom of page Edit Settings, and un-check "Enable". BTW if your friends don't do this, they will be sharing information about you. PLEASE COPY & REPOST. Just so you know ;)

I'm Trying!!!

     I'm kind of lost right now. I keep going in circles because I haven't really discovered which way is out. I can't figure out whether or not I really have choices anymore. Lately, I have been really worried about the far future (what else means the opposite of "near future"?). I think, or at least I hope, that I am just at that age where I can really decide who I am. I used to KNOW that I loved to learn and be the super nerd and get 90's all the time, but now I'm not really sure. It's exam time, and I have been spending hours studying, but is that really what I want? I could be working so I could afford to send money for kids starving in Africa or I could be writing music or I could be hanging out with my friends. I finally have choices, and I don't know what to do. I finally have the chance to make a difference, and I have the choice to choose not too. It's so hard! Like, I have been saying forever I want to volunteer at the hospital and play piano at seniors homes but did I take the initiative? No, I decided to play volleyball and basketball. But those things keep me healthy and skinney and socialized. See? It's like a circle. Or, I could do everything and stress out and fall in a rut and get depressed and drop everything to climb back out. And then start my life over. I don't know. I just don't know anymore.

     I'm taking this music course called Harmony. It's like intense musical study, and it's so hard and dull. Now, I have never had work that is hard for me. Like, I've had trouble, but nothing like this. I don't get it? It's so frusterating. It's pulling my whole mood down. That and the fact that it's January and I am pretty sure I have a touch of SAD (seasonal affective disorder). Now, I have always complained about school being to easy, but this is like the extreme other side. Anyway, I better sign off and get back to studying. I will post some happyier posts when exams are done. Night.

Snow Day!

Guess what? The buses weren't running today! I love snow days! It's like half the class is there right? Yeah I know what you're saying "But you're a bus kid...." Technically I am, but I walk to school most the time so I might as well not be. Anyway, most of the day was useless. But I really don't like not going to school because then I'm behind and have to rely on everybody else... Ahhhh! Never! My day consists of follows: begged my mom to talk me to school so I could talk to my friends in the morning (in her TA), band (only one person missing... NEW RECORD!), TA in which I snuck into my friend's TA and we played extreme cards. I sometimes feel sorry for my friends TA teacher because I am always in her room... and she will probably have to put up with me for the next four years.... but I bought her a Christmas present so it's all good =) Anyway then I had French, which took too much brain power. Lunch (woohoo!). Science (watched a space video) and then social. Social started out like this:

Teacher: We're watching a movie!

Class: YES!!!!!
Random kid: What movie?
Teacher: Highschool Musical!
Class: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Another random kid: We're too old for that movie
ANOTHER random kid: I've seen it too many times
Teacher: Fine, you 2 kids go get a movie from the library
*come back with The Simpsons*

Me (inside my head!): Really? ohhh shit this is going to be a really long hour!

Again, if I could draw that would be a comic. But again, I can't. And again, your stuck with words.

But it was torture sitting there. And then my friends (who is homeschooled....) started texting me because we are suppose to coordinate a biblestudy for this sunday and was asking for ideas.... So see? It's all good. It's not like I would text in a regular class to my friend sitting beside me. Anyway, to my relief my wonderful social teacher didn't care, so I actually stayed awake that entire class!

     The Simpsons isn't even a good movie! It's horrible! Total slapstick, first of all. I like it when it's actually intellectually funny (cough cough, the Big Bang Theory) meaning you actually have to have more than a half a brain to get it. And the Simpsons half the time is just making fun of morals and stuff like that. The one part that sticks out for me is when the guy announced CODE BLACK and then the next line is "That's the worst kind of code there is!" turns to the African-Americain guy beside him "No offense" Just bad humour! Anyway, I'm bored of ranting. Again hehe. See you later! Thanks for reading! You're my inspiration.

Hey everybody! I'm in the middle of math class...... I'm so bored. Done all my work of course.... but I forgot to add what this post was really suppose to be about! Anyway, so I have this really stalker-ish habit of watching people.... I know, creepy right? You learn alot about people... and funny habits they have... hehe ready for this. My oh so wonderful science teacher: likes to bite her nails... and when reading something aff the internet she will mouth the words, haha and my social teacher? Takes off her shoes and sits with her legs crossed all the time. Not that I notice... -_- But it's ususally take more brain and thought power than watching the Simpsons..... Yeah, it's almost lunchtime. WOOHOO see ya losers! Just kidding I love my viewers. No, No, I really didn't mean it Come Back Guys!!!!

My IQ is what?!?!?!

Ok sorry my dedicated viewers for not blogging. First of all, I have been SUPER busy cause, well, you know high school and everything.... But I have so much to talk about!!!! But I can't post more than one post a day or you will all get bored and stop reading.... so yeah. But my current topic..... (drum roll) INTELLIGENCE!!!!!! (yeah yeah I know, that's not exactly "IQ", but I had to title it something to make you read it!!!

     Ok, so this is going to be a really deep topic (he he) ok maybe not but I have such a strong opinion. So, I have been told most my life that I'm smart right. Classic characteristics too, high averages, nerdy, nasal sounding voice, teachers pet.... yeah all of the above. That's me. But don't judge me =P. So, I believed it. You know the saying if your told everyday your stupid, you will believe it. Yeah well that applies here. But opposite. And then ONE TIME I was having an argument with one of my friends about it, and she told me to my face that I was just average, and I only had good marks because I worked hard. Ouch. And that sentence has affected the way I looked at myself for the past two years. One sentence made that huge impact on my life. Do you know why? I believed it. That's all it takes. After that, even though some of my friends would always tell me differently (cough cough *Rosanne*) I still couldn't correct that mistake. It wasn't until this year that I have actually accepted that I am smarter, I guess, than average. In science (uhh I have already talked soooo much about my amazing teacher!!! =P) but we have been playing this game thing of giving each other compliments. At least in my opinion. But it feels so great to get a test back (like a  unit final with a BIG FAT ONE HUNDRED PERCENT ON IT!!!!!!!) with a comment about how the quality and value of my education is so impressive. When someone you looks up to gives you a comment like that, it's a real eye-opener. I think when my friend originally said that, it was out of jealousy. But she has lots of other things to be proud of. My education is mine, and just because everyone is required to have it, doesn't mean that I can't be proud of mine.
     So, if your reading this, and you have never been on honour roll or hate school or whatever, that's ok. I think there are different kinds of intelligence. Such as logic, street sense, humour, quick thinking, learning and so on. You are absolutely NOT stupid, just because you don't have all of the above. Neither do I! Play sports takes smarts. Music takes smarts. Ability to communicate and talk to people takes smarts. Just because your average isn't 95%, doesn't mean your not as smart as the rest of us.
     One last thing (I promise!). When I get to heaven (I kind of excited...) on thing I am going to ask God is how he decides who gets what. Like, how does he decides who are going to be the zitty, not so bright outsiders in the school? Or why do some kids get to be athletic, smart, hot, popular, rich, and the list goes on? It makes me think of games when they give you like 50 points and you get to decide how much of it is smarts, looks, popularity, etc. My personal belief is if you have all those qualities, maybe it's balanced with like a bad family life or something. Ok, now I am going to mention a couple people in code, so if you want the code ask me IN PERSON. So there is this girl Ibjkfjhi (hahahaha that's funny!) ok she is like super smart, but her parents are divorced and she lives with all these little step-siblings. And then Ojdl (hahahaha) has everything. But I think his parents are hiding alot and he whenever his parents are brought up he gets irritated. But those were just examples. Now I better stop there cause this is a REALLY long post!!! See ya later my wonderful followers!! I appreciate it!